Twas The Night Before Y2K

'Twas the night before Y2K,
And all through the nation
We awaited The Bug,
The Millennium sensation.

The chips were replaced
In computers with care,
In hopes that ol' Bugsy
Wouldn't stop there.

While some folks could think
They were snug in their beds
Others had visions
Of dread in their heads.

And Ma with her PC,
And I with my Mac
Had just logged on the Net
And kicked back with a snack.

When over the server,
There arose such a clatter
I called Mister Gates
To see what was the matter.

But he was away,
So I flew like a flash
Off to my bank
To withdraw all my cash.

When what with my wandering eyes
Should I see?
My good old Mac
Looked sick to me.

The hack of all hackers
Was looking so smug,
I knew that it must be
The Y2K Bug!

His image downloaded
In no time at all,
He whistled and shouted,
Let all systems fall!

Go Intel!  Go Gateway!
Now HP!  Big Blue!
Everything Compaq,
And Pentium too!

All processors big,
All processors small,
Crash away!  Crash away!
Crash away all!

All the controls
That planes need for their flights
All microwaves, trains
And all traffic lights.

As I drew in my breath
And was turning around,
Out through the modem,
He came with a bound.

He was covered with fur,
And slung on his back
Was a sackful of viruses,
Set for attack.

His eyes-how they twinkled!
His dimples-how merry!
As midnight approached, though
Things soon became scary.

He had a broad little face
And a round little belly,
And his sack filled with viruses
Quivered like jelly.

He was chubby and plump,
Perpetually grinning,
And I laughed when I saw him
Though my hard drive stopped spinning.

A wink of his eye,
And a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know
A new feeling of dread.

He spoke not a word,
But went straight to his work,
He changed all the clocks,
Then turned with a jerk.

With a twitch of his nose,
And a quick little wink,
All things electronic
Soon went on the blink.

He zoomed from my system,
To the next folks on line,
He caused such a disruption,
Could this be a sign?

Then I heard him exclaim,
With a loud, hearty shout,
Happy Y2K to you all,
This is a helluva night!

Unknown Author



=======================================

A bunch of nerdy brainy guys a long way back
Invented a crazy little thing they called the Univac
For years now, they've been upgrading that thing
It can walk and talk and count and think and it can even sing
It can help you at school, church, business, and work
Makes you feel like a genius even though you're just a jerk
You get a computer, you sit it in your lap
It does a little bit of this it does a whole lotta that
It can boot you up, it can load you down
With that little bitty mouse you1re gonna rule this town
But you're headed for trouble I do believe
It's coming your way on New Year's Eve now
Whoa what do you know
A few more measly more months to go
Hey what do you say
Now here it comes now...Y2K

No it ain't a virus it's just a little glitch
It wasn't done by some crazy hackin' son of a bitch
And Sadaam didn't do it, can't blame him
No it's the geek with the glasses and the stupid silly grin
Billionaire Bill that's the one you can hate
If you want to blame someone blame Bill Gates
Bill Gates
Bill Gates

Bill said we'd make money, Bill said we'd have fun
But remember Hal the computer in 2001?
We're in a time machine, going back my friend
Doin' 1900 all over again
Headed for trouble I do believe
It's coming your way on New Year's Eve now
Whoa what do you know
A few more measly more months to go
Hey what do you say
Now here we come now...Y2K

Well we've been trucking down the information superhighway
But we'll be on a dirt road come Y2K
Call me old fashioned call me a fool
And you can call me a Luddite and you can call me uncool
But we used to imagine, question and dream
And now all of our answers come up on some screen
We're headed for trouble I do believe
It's coming your way on New Year's Eve
Y - 2 - K

Breakdown...You better get ready, be very afraid
Because your money's no good and you'll never get paid
And the car won't start and the phone won't work
And the juice won't squeeze and the coffee won't perk
No more decaf latte, baby...

You'll be doing the monkey, but there'll be a new twist
You'll still be alive but you will not exist
The stock market will crash, the air traffic will stop
You won't find a doctor, forget about a cop

There'll be a lot of lawyers with plenty to do
It's apocalypse now at a theatre near you
We're headed for trouble I do believe
It's coming your way on New Year's Eve

Meanwhile...

Way over there in the old ancient Middle East
Them doomsday boys is having a feast
The end is at hand and they're down on their knees
They've been checking out all the bad-ass prophesies
This Y2K it's the latest craze
It's lock and load for the final days

Well I saw you on the plane playing solitaire
On that little laptop, with nary a care
Life's easy now, but it could get hard
Pretty soon you're gonna have to use a deck of real cards
Headed for trouble I do believe
It's coming your way on New Year's Eve now
Whoa what do you know
A few more measly more months to go
Hey what do you say
Comin' at ya...Y2K

========================================